ZDav

I went to an all-women's college for undergrad. During those four years, my masculine identity was cultivated and nurtured by a community of queer women. Leaving college, I found myself having to make concessions for my masculinity in a female presenting body. I'd gone four years without having to explain my masculinity to others. It just was. But I had to live in this world, in this life of constant contradiction between who I saw myself to be and who the world wanted me to be. Transitioning both physically and emotionally, allowed me to take a strong, life long stand to maintain and continue to grow in my masculine identity. Now, it's no question. I'm a masculine transman and society has to grabble with that, not me.

Attending conferences has reminded me that I'm not alone in my experience, even though most days, it feels very much so. Seeing myself reflected in other masculine identified individuals has helped me to see the sliding scale of gender expression differently. I've also realized that while not everyone is on the same journey of gender expression as I am, and I can still marvel at appreciate unacknowledged gender bending. Everyone breaks gender roles and seeing those subtle reminders constantly reinforces my identity as a queer transman.